The Chocolate Box Stuff

The chocolate box stuff
travels to the big city
to light up the gallery walls
with it's sugary coating of nothingness
whilst I get darker
more involved
with rebels and their causes
Living on the edge of this,
the parapet of my existence
My claws grip the edge
as free will flies to free fall
And I escape 
I was not what you imagined
the reclusive, the harmless
in falling I sprout wings and talons
and the freedom to fight
The chocolate box stuff pleases
I do not care.


I might start a revolution
against the chocolate box stuff

It's easy to fall into it.

Flower Sprigged Isolation

Another day

Sky so blue it hurts

I stare out of the window

Dream of the other life

My family living down the valley

visiting days

baking days

laughing days

Little house in the Cwm days

Skipping through sheep shit fields

in cotton lawn dresses

flower sprigged, billowing

light against my dark

All fantasy

conjured in this,

my splendid isolation.

Iron

I want to iron their days level
smooth them into tedium
flatten them to monotony
turn their highs to lows
their days into night
I want to squash their ugly thoughts
and then just maybe,
mayhaps, perhaps
make their lives into hers
just for the day.

The 'popular girls' (you know who you are)

Blackness

Blackness pursues me
in this rain sodden valley
From the early morning
tearful awakenings
To despair chasing through
dark tinged night mares
Afagddu stalks again
traps me in skeins of dark intent
Stitches melancholic thoughts
to blankets of despair
Knits winter blues
to shades of grey
Daytime spent
huddled close
to the fire
Watching flames consuming
the summers light

*A gloomy sad day here in the valley. Fog lays in thick blankets and the cold begins to penetrate again. My blood sugar levels are high, the diabetic grip tightens... I need light!

School Gates

Haunted
by the girls
Disdainful glances
beneath
finely plucked eyebrows
Cruel thin mouths
spew
poison
at me
Now the grown up versions
huddle
in school gate packs
Sharpen
manicured claws
on the weak
and unique
Whilst their pups
in the playground
follow
traditional tauntings
utter
savage mutterings
at the girl
beside me

Ice melts :: Debt Grows

Ice melting slowly.
I create slowly.
laborious mark making
tenuous touches of pencil and paint.
More trees.
Determined
to explore the trees
to create more.
But today interrupted by the incessant phone calls
Demanding their money
with interest
beyond my means
veiled threats
But I pretended to be my daughter
grown with voice
to tell them
No

Afagddu

Afagddu stalks me
follows streams of rage
and despair
All around submerged
Hidden lost
Beneath bracken clad slopes
Their ghosts walk these well worn paths
Where...
I stand on bones
long forgotten
Scars indelible,
sketched on slate
Here utter blackness pervades
In the dying days
of the valley.